The Un-Glamptons

One of my favorite columns to read is the "Hot/Not Hot" page of Hamptons Magazine - the gratis weekly glossy that piles in front of cafés, ice cream shops and clothing stores along the main streets of the Hamptons. But let it be known that I do not think I've ever seen so much as one down-to-earth sentence in the entire magazine. Nope - I just read it to provide my own running commentary and knock the frou frou (not referencing the former Imogen Heap here) and shi-shi. I mean, how can you not laugh when Hamptons Magazine suggests that collecting limited edition John Varvatos sunglasses is hot, but collecting stamps is not hot? Who collects limited edition John Varvatos sunglasses?? 

So needless to say, the Hamptons comes with a lot of obnoxious associations. And don't get me wrong - many of these are deserved. It's one thing when a bagel with cream cheese and lox sells for $16. But when people actually buy said bagel...well, that's a whole other story. I've certainly experienced post-exercise town outings where I am sweaty and flushed and seem to be a freak of nature for not donning Lily Pulitzer from head to toe. Or witness to the mother who carries ten shopping bags while she berates her five-year-old daughter for pouring on too much salad dressing onto her lunch. A lunch that most certainly comes without fries. 

But despite these incidents that are utterly laughable (and you have to laugh, otherwise what else could you do?), I think that some people forget why this place is so inundated with skinny minnies during the summer months. The fact of the matter is, it is truly a beautiful place. (A place that is beautiful all year long and not just during the summer months - but let's just keep that between you and me.) 

And as much as I love NYC, it is an amazing feeling to be able to wiggle your toes in the sand, see seagulls instead of pigeons (aka flying rats), smell the sea, and in my case - wear the oldest items in your closet that you haven't worn since the 90's. 

So here is how I view the Hamptons...and I promise there are no sequins or stilettos in sight.

Walks on Main Beach

photo credit: Getty Images

Fresh produce from the Farm Stands (when the Union Square Greenmarket is not an option)

photo credit: Getty Images

Collecting shells, rocks and sea glass

Frozen treats at the snack bar (or BYO treats... chilled wine and beer at dusk) 

Not just the ocean, but long swims at the bay too

Unpredictable weather that is always incredibly picturesque

Momma's Hydrangeas